I was reading the blog of my uncle’s wife, well technically she’s the wife of my uncle but my uncle and I are the same age so we practically just treat each other like cousins. Anyway, I digress…
I was reading through Pegah’s blog. I’ve always found her writing witty, intelligent and quite entertaining. Although she posts only once in awhile. When I get a chance, I read it. She had an entry that caught my attention. It was entitled “Lessons Learned: When Life’s Truths Slap You Across Your Face”:http://pegah_katigbak.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/2007/01/lessons_learned.html
Most of her observations hit it head on. I agree with all of them but I’d like to focus on this one particular insight, well probably because at this time this is the struggle that I’m faced with. Pegs said:
bq. … that love is not the flutter in your stomach, the excitement of the kissing, touching or even (gasp!) sex. Rather, it is made up of these components: trust, loyalty, commitment and above all, friendship. Of course, if you add great sex to all of this, then you’ve got yourself something fantastic.
I wholeheartedly agree with this observation. I think the real love, the one that lasts a life time is made out of the qualities she pointed out. I’ve said this before, “marry someone who has the potential, if he/she isn’t already your best friend”. At the end of the day, it will be just the two of you. When the lights are out, you’re alone in your house, if you have kids they’re probably asleep, you better be sure that the person you’re alone with is your friend. Your best friend. Someone you can spill your guts out to, someone you can cry to, laugh with, share a quiet moment with, someone who’ll listen to you when you have something to say, someone who’ll tell you what’s on his/her mind, someone who despite just being alone with you in the room and nothing else to do would still feel like he’s having the greatest time in the world.
Buttlerflies in your stomach and the other stuff are well and good. That usually happens in the beginning of a relationship. You’re attracted to the person, etc. But true love should transcend that. It should be more than that. As you live with each other, get used to each other, you need something more to keep your relationship going.
Trust and loyalty are paramount too. You can spend the rest of your life with someone you don’t trust. Trust is very very important.
I guess, that’s why I felt so bad with my loss. I lost my best friend as well. Regardless. I do hope and pray that if God grants me my wish of one day settling down, I find someone who can be my best friend.