What If God Said No

I believe God answers all our prayers. It’s just that it’s not always yes. Sometimes he does say yes, sometimes it’s maybe, sometimes it can also be not now and then there’s just the flat out no.

I guess one of the things that scare me the most when I pray is that what if God says no. That’s something I’m not sure I’m ready to accept yet.

Case in point. My frequent prayer to God is to send me someone I can spend the rest of my life with. Ever since I was young, my dream was to get married and have a family of my own. I’m 35 and nowhere near that dream. I’ve often felt sad about it. My friends tell me to pray for it. I’m stubborn and I refused to pray for it regularly. I’d ask God sometimes but I’d ask half-heartedly.

It’s not because I didn’t believe in prayers. It’s because I was scared that God might say no. What if he said, “son, that’s not for you”? What then? Am I ready to give up my dream and follow God’s plan? I honestly can say I don’t know. I won’t pretend and say that I will when I know in my heart I might not ready to give up on it.

I guess that’s why now I like the first part of “The Serenity Prayer” so much. It goes:

bq. God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Now my ardent prayer is not for what I want. I pray to know what God wants for my life. I pray for the wisdom to know if it’s God’s will. I pray for the strength to accept it and be at peace with it.

I’m not saying God doesn’t want the same things I want for myself. I’m saying as of this moment I don’t know. I’m praying to know so I can follow his plan.

I believe God has a great plan for each of us. Some of us just don’t follow it hence our lives don’t go according to how it should. Lucky are those who figure out God’s purpose for them and live it with grace.

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