The Journey Begins Anew

I had a visit from Nestle, one of my closest friends yesterday. He was in the area and dropped by the house. His visit was for a totally different reason. He wanted to look at something I had bought the previous day. We ended up talking about that thing for roughly 10 minutes.

His visit ended up having a different purpose. Something neither of us had any idea that it would end up to be the topic of our conversation.

I’ve always been a very positive and upbeat person. Lately though it’s been tough. I’ve been sad for quite sometime. It took a constant effort for me to be happy everyday. Some days I’d be successful and some days I’d be sad.

I’ve been thinking a lot. I’m turning 35 this year. I am truly grateful that I’ve lived this long. However a part of me is deeply saddened by the fact that I’m 35 and have little to show for it.

I’m not married, I don’t own my own house, I don’t have kids, I haven’t seen the world or stuff like that. Comparing myself to my friends and peers, most of them are married, have young children, a house, a good job, basically the makings of a good life. Those are the things I’ve dreamed for myself since I was a young adult.

Now don’t get me wrong, I realize that I am so blessed. That’s a big part why I’m not in a constant state of depression. I have a good home. I live with my parents. I have a job that gives me decent income for the standards here in the Philippines. I have a great family and good friends.

At the same time you can’t take away from me the yearning and desire for something more in life. You fault me for wanting the same things any other 35 year old would want.

I realize that my life has taken me on a different path, a hard path but amazing nonetheless. I’ve done some things that other people haven’t. Still, it pains me that the things I really want might not happen.

This brings me to my conversation with Nestle. I told him that I was feeling really sad and told him the reasons why. He listened to me and after shared his thoughts.

He said that he had an amazing past several years. In the span of 4 or 5 years, he found the girl of his dreams, got married, bought a house and just recently became a proud father to a baby boy named Mateo. It was a dream come true. He said that prior to that he didn’t even think he would have all of these in such a short time. He told me he didn’t even think he’d have a house. The most he was thinking of before was probably a small condo or apartment. Yet at the time he needed to build a house, things just fell into place.

All these amazing things came after he devoted much time to 3 things. Devoting time to daily prayer, being of service to others and trying not to live in sin, all very hard things to do. He did it though.

After a year from starting this, all his blessings came. All of which was what he asked for and more.

Nestle told me not to under estimate the power of prayer. I’ve always had faith in God but my prayer time is mediocre at best. I’m a good person or so I think. I try to help people when I can but sometimes still fail because I think of myself before others. I’m also not a saint. I do have my share of shortcomings.

He encouraged me to renew my prayer time. He showed me some web sites he visits that have the Gospel, daily devotional and other supplementary reading.

I told him I’d start today. I’m sure it will be hard but I will try. I’m doing this because I know that I’ve been lax with my prayers but also because I’m grasping for straws and trying to hang on to the faith I have. I believe in God and I know he loves me but when a person is sad sometimes it’s hard to see things clearly.

I don’t expect miracles to happen. I only expect to grow my faith and accept whatever happens as such. As the saying goes “Thy will be done”. I am hoping for miracles though. There’s a difference between hoping and expecting.

So I started my prayer time today. Lo’ and behold the first part of the daily devotional reading today from Streams in the Desert goes…

bq. In Everything

bq. “In nothing be anxious” (Phil. 4:6).

bq. No anxiety ought to be found in a believer. Great, many and varied may be our trials, our afflictions, our difficulties, and yet there should be no anxiety under any circumstances, because we have a Father in Heaven who is almighty, who loves His children as He loves His only-begotten Son, and whose very joy and delight it is to succor and help them at all times and under all circumstances. We should attend to the Word, “In nothing be anxious, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”

bq. “In everything,” that is not merely when the house is on fire, not merely when the beloved wife and children are on the brink of the grave, but in the smallest matters of life, bring everything before God, the little things, the very little things, what the world calls trifling things — everything — living in holy communion with our Heavenly Father, arid with our precious Lord Jesus all day long. And when we awake at night, by a kind of spiritual instinct again turning to Him, and speaking to Him, bringing our various little matters before Him in the sleepless night, the difficulties in connection with the family, our trade, our profession. Whatever tries us in any way, speak to the Lord about it.

Wow. In my first prayer session, God spoke to me clearly. I shouldn’t be anxious. Have faith in him and he will not let me down. Amazing.

I know that I really need to just keep the faith. Pray and trust God that all will fall into place. It may not be all the things that I want but it will be all the things he wants for me. I just need to surrender and accept his will.

These are the things I’m praying for. I’m not sure all will come true but there is always hope. If you happen to find the time to say a prayer for me I hope that you could pray for these things.

Lord, grant me better health so that I may reach a ripe old age with much wisdom and experience

Lord allow me to do something that I can be passionate about but support me as well

Lord grant that you give me enough resources so I can live a decent life and have enough not just for myself but also to help others

Lord grant that you send someone into my life who I can share my hopes and dreams with, grow old with and hopefully have a family with.

Lord grant me the chance to do something great with my life and hopefully make a difference in this world

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I will try to post my journal regularly. So I can share what I’ve learned but also so you can tell me what you think. Hopefully we can encourage each other on as we go through life. I hope that as I start this journey again of prayer and faith I see it through.

_I dedicate this entry to Nestle, a good friend whom I owe a lot. He constantly reminds me of what a true man should be._

5 Replies to “The Journey Begins Anew”

  1. Hey Dickoy, your blog really touched me. I miss you – let’s catch up very soon 🙂 Just prayed for you… I know our God is a God of miracles and healing and I prayed that the day will come that you stand and answer the door when we come visit you. I believe in God’s power to do this 🙂 By the way, you might not have the usual things to show for your life, but you have had a very extraordinary effect on 1000s of people, including me. Very few 35 year olds have touched so many lives in such a meaningful way 🙂 God bless bro

  2. Hi Juan
    I loved reading this. It made me sad that you do not have the things in your life that you strongly desire. I believe if you can get out more, and meet more people, that you will find that special person you so deserve. I agree with Dylan, you have had a very extraordinary effect on 1000s of people, including me, worldwide! Someone would be an extremely lucky lady to have you in their life.
    Much love to you xo

  3. Allyson, thanks so much for leaving a message. Yes I try to get out as much as I can. I’m still hoping I find the right one. I just need to prepare my life that if that person comes I am ready.

    Dylan, it was great to see you brother. I’m glad to have had the chance to catch up. See you again soon!

  4. Juan,
    As a fellow sister in Christ, this entry touches my heart. I know faith is not always easy but its during those challenging and difficult times that are faith needs to be it’s strongest. I will pray those things for you my friend…every one of them and repeatedly. I want the story book life for you but more than that, I want you to know the profound effect you have on people who are fortunate enough to cross paths with you in their lifetime. I love your humility but don’t underestimate the inspiration you put in people’s hearts because of your attitude, your work with rare diseases, your efforts with bipaps to those in need, your time and your selflessness.
    You are creating your legacy and I for one am happy to call you my friend. I have big hopes for you Juan.

    Warmest regards….
    Sabrina

  5. hi thanks to my mom on constantly trying to make me read your blog. and its a good thing that i did. you know what. you may think that you didnt have everything that a 35 year old guy should have but u in the other hand became what people needed as an inspiration to be better and be mature. i reflected upon your writing and thought of the things that i shouldn’t be taking for granted while i’m still young. prayer is a powerful weapon against anything and i believed it more right now.. its true that we dont always get what we want but maybe its because we have to become an inspiration for others to better and be the vehicles of wisdom. its by your experiences and dreams in life that made it inspiring for me to be better and pray more :).. i do hope and pray that all your wishes be granted. im sure God will give you something you deserve that even you may be surprised at

    im glad i read your blog 🙂

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