Stop This Train

bq. “Stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can’t take the speed it’s moving in
I know I can’t
But honestly won’t someone stop this train”

That’s a verse of John Mayer’s “Stop This Train”, currently my favorite song. I like it not just because it has good melody but I simply love the lyrics of this song. The lyrics capture what I’ve been feeling lately.

The song is about life going by quickly and the fear of getting older, the fear of losing your parents and going through life on your own.

John and I are roughly the same age and so I am able to relate to his songs a lot. I’m at the stage of my life wherein I’m not young but I’m not old as well. However due to my circumstances I feel as if I’m older than I am.

At this point in my life, conventional wisdom says that I should have some success at work, married and starting a family. I have none of those. I have a good job but not the kind of success that I pictured I would have. I don’t have children nor am I married.

In fact if I don’t look in the mirror, I feel and sometimes act like I’m just in my mid twenties. Not a care in the world. I don’t have any major responsibilities save for myself. my life is my own, I do as I please.

Sounds fun doesn’t it? But it honestly made me think about life. My parents are getting older, I’m getting older, time is running out. What have I done with my life?

In a blink of an eye, I suddenly find myself at the mid-point of my life. I try looking back at my life. I’ve had a good childhood. In fact I miss those times. Life was much more simple.

I’m struggling to find meaning. I’m struggling to find direction. Where do I head to, knowing that my life is not like most people. What will I do when my parents are not around? I spend a lot of time with them. Lately it’s just been the three of us. My brother just got married and starting his own family.

Life is just going by so fast. Like what the song says, I want to stop it and go back to the beginning.

However the song also says that a person should be happy where he is at whatever particular point he is in life. Life has different stages, each with its own perks. We’re at the right point in our lives at the right time. It might not seem evident at times but it’s true.

Even if I say that I want to go back to the beginning, I say that only because I don’t want to lose the people around me. I do not however want to go back to being a teenager. I like where I am right now and I think age and time has a way of doing that to us.

We can’t stop this train. We can’t stop time and life from happening. We just need to embrace it as such and try to make the most out of it, even if we have to take different tracks in life.

Life is indeed going by quickly. We just need to keep up.

3 Replies to “Stop This Train”

  1. hi, juan. please don’t think this is too impertinent a message. but i just got touched by your ‘ramblings’ touched that i literally was crying for 20 whole minutes!!! i hope you don’t mind if i wrote something about you in my blog today…take care!

  2. We’re on the same boat my dear. I have a life just like yours… however I think I am more contented than you at this point. Having a family around and with faith in God, I know I can with stand the test of time… God will always be there for all of us, please take note of that. He will not forsake us. In the absence of immediate family members who will take care of us, for sure God will send somebody to take good care of us. Don’t worry life will go on as much as God wants us to go on happily with life.

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