Religion is a tricky thing. It’s probably one of the most divisive topics known to man. Wars have been fought because of religion. Contrary to what it’s supposed to be. At the core of most religions is love. Yet this is not the end result sometimes.
Let me be clear, I believe in God. I believe in Jesus Christ, his son. I believe in the Holy Spirit. I believe in Mother Mary. I think by those beliefs I fall under the Catholic religion. I was born into this religion. Raised a Catholic. My entire immediate family is Catholic.
However, lately I’ve been having problems with the Catholic Church. I don’t agree with some of their ideas.
At the core of my belief is this
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” [Matt22:37-40]
I compare everything against this two. If the church tells me one thing, before I blindly follow, I compare it to the above commandments. If it passes both then I can accept it as such. If it doesn’t then I really have to think about it more or discard it altogether.
I read “the post”:http://chuvaness.com/5946/thoughts/watch-and-listen/ of Cecile from her Chuvaness blog. She outlines her reasons on why she stopped going to mass/church. I respect her thoughts. I agree with some, others no but at the end of the day it’s her personal decision and her relationship with God. I will respect it.
I have to admit I haven’t been able to go to church a lot this past year. It’s not because I totally don’t want to. It’s for several reasons actually. A part of it is because I really have difficulty going out sometimes. Given also it’s a Sunday, it’s harder for me to go out, no one to drive for me. So it’s either I catch the mass that’s held nearby so I can “walk” but the problem is that it’s only one mass and it’s at 11 a.m. The thing is, because of my work, my time is reversed. I follow US time and so I’m up at night and asleep most of the daytime. But this is not the main reason and I digress.
One of the main reasons is that I simply am not connecting to the Church as much as I should. Part of it is because of differing beliefs with some matters, part of it is because I’m at a stage wherein I’m having great internal conflict.
At the surface everything is fine but I’m having a crisis of sorts within myself. It’s hard to explain here but my faith in religion is wavering. Take note, I said faith in RELGION. Not faith in God. Religion in my opinion is man made. Sure one can argue that in the case of the Catholic Church it came from God and was built from the foundation that Jesus gave St. Peter. Right now man governs it. Some will say that the leaders of the Church were anointed by God and they are a representation of him here on Earth. But right now I’m having a hard time believing it is so.
When I see how some priests are acting, it doesn’t make me believe that God sent them.
I believe that God loves all men. Religion should not discriminate against sex, race, age, disability, etc. So if you’re gay, a bastard, someone who is a single parent, etc, the church should not ban you from practicing your faith. Sure the Church has beliefs, etc but it should not discriminate. It should not judge.
Faith is very personal to me. If someone is gay, I will not judge him for that. Even if the Church says God is not for it, I will leave it to God and that person. I do not want or do I want to be judged. Live and let live, so to speak.
There’s this video going around, entitled “Why I hate religion, but love Jesus”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY. It’s been going around Facebook and Cecile also posted it in the same entry. It makes a lot of sense.
When a religion punishes someone through no fault of his own, then I find it hard to believe in that religion. An example of this would be a child going to a Catholic school and being told that his/her parents are sinners because they’re not married by the Catholic Church, then that’s just wrong. It scars the child, it’s judging other people.
My God is a loving God. I believe it to be so because he sent his only son to die for our sins. Sacrificing his son in order to save all of us. All those who believe. He didn’t say, save only those who believe but are straight or only those who believe but have no sins. God wanted to save all those who believed.
I would rather live my life based on the two most important commandments of God. Rather than go to church for an hour each week and forget the commandments once I step out. Ideally it should be both.
I want to go back to Church regularly but I need to find my faith again in it first. I need to know that when I go there I agree wholeheartedly on what it stands for.