Very few things make me really sad. One of those is things is the fact that my parents have to deal with certain things related to me.
Case in point. My mom and I were talking the other night. She was telling me about the mini-reunion she had with former college classmates. One topic of their conversation was their children who aren’t married yet. Of course this topic is common to all parents who have adult children who are still single.
Their conversation found its way to the moms asking each other if they could pair up their children. So my mom narrated that one by one each parent who had a child that was still single spoke up and said that she’d like to volunteer her son/daughter.
Naturally, my mom told them that she still had a son who was single. That was none other than I. My brother had recently gotten married this year. I definitely know how proud my mom is of me. If there was one person who believes in me it’s her.
I feel bad though. I guess it’s one of my biggest insecurities. I always think that no sane mom would like her daughter to marry someone like me. That’s just a fact of life that I have to deal with. But I know that not all people are like that.
I had a girlfriend before when I was in my early twenties. I remember the day I told my dad that I had a new girlfriend. He sat down with me and told me “you know that she has parents and that they most likely will object, I just want you to be prepared for that”.
True enough, at first when my girlfriend back then told her mom that she was dating me her mother objected. She told her mom that she should get to know me first, if by that time she still thinks I should be with her daughter then they could talk about it then.
In time her mom warmed up to me. To her family’s credit, they all treated me with respect and I never felt that I was not welcome in their home. They were very civil and in fact I am still good friends with her siblings. I still talk to her mom from time to time until now.
It’s not easy to have a son like me. I’m pretty sure my parents would want me to have everything that their other son has. I’m sure that they would eventually want to see me get married and be accepted into another family. I feel bad thinking I might not be able to give that to them.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t look at my situation and pity myself. In fact I use it as motivation to do better, to make something of myself so that what I lack in physical abilities I can make up for in other ways. Hopefully that will be enough to counter act my shortcomings and make other people see that I am good enough for their daughter too.
I don’t know if it will come true. I’m not sure I’ll find someone who will fight hard enough for me and make her family see me the way she does. My ex-girlfriend did that once. Too bad it didn’t work out. But I will be forever grateful to her and her family for treating me well.
For now, I just hope that what I lack in that department I make up for in other things so that I can make my parents proud. I may not be a son that they can “push” to their friends as an option for their unmarried children but hopefully I can make up for it in other ways.