My Tita Stella and her now husband Wayne got married last saturday. This week has been bitter sweet for our family. Bitter due to the death of Lolo. Sweet because Tita Stella got married.

It’s both their second marriage. I hope this time it’s forever. They’ve been together for several years already and this was the logical next step. I’m really happy for them.

In his speech during the wedding reception, Wayne said something like, “people have been telling him, why get married now? he said from where he was standing, why not??!?”. I also asked him prior to the ceremony if he was nervous. He said, no. It was the surest thing he’s done so far. It feels right.

I felt flattered that they asked me to give a thanksgiving prayer during the civil ceremonies. I hope that they liked the prayer that I gave.

All in all the wedding was great. I wish Tita Stella and Wayne all the best. I wish them enough. Enough of everything they need for their lives together. Most especially enough love to last a lifetime.

We formally said goodbye to Lolo Dick last tuesday. He was cremated that night. That’s what he wanted.

The night before my mom asked me if I could give a eulogy on behalf of the grandchildren. There wasn’t any doubt in my mind as to what my answer would be. However, given what has transpired in the past few years I jokingly told my mom, “are you asking me or telling me?”. She fired back, “I’m telling you.”. I laughed and told her that I was just kidding and of course I’d do it.

I spend majority of tuesday preparing what I was going to say. I knew I wanted to say something from my childhood. Growing up as the first grandchild I had the most memory of Lolo. I wanted a bit of that. I also wanted to apologize. I wanted to say sorry for what happened between us. You can probably argue that I was his favorite, if not one of his favorites. Until the end, he managed to leave me with something. A valuable lesson in life. Something that I’ve already known but forgot. It’s that our time in this world is limited and we don’t know when we will die. It’s best to say/do things you need to while you can. I learned the hard way that I should have swallowed my pride and made things right between lolo and I. My only consolation is that he left me with this lesson.

A mass was celebrated at 5 in the afternoon, followed by prayers and the Eulogies given by Eliza (Lolo’s caregiver), myself and Tito Boy (Lolo’s youngest brother). A final viewing was held for all the mourners. Ever since I can remember, every time I’d go to a funeral I never looked at the deceased. I don’t know why. Maybe because I wanted to remember them while they were alive. However in Lolo’s case I broke that “tradition”. I wanted to look at him for a final goodbye. So at the final viewing I asked to be carried so I can see him. The casket was elevated so I really needed to be lifted.

Lolo was finally cremated at around 8 that evening. My mom, her brothers and sister and some other close relatives and friends witnessed the cremation. I didn’t go. I didn’t want to look. So I took my small cousins back to our house and waited for our parents there. I took the time to bond with them. I never really got close to my cousins because of our age gap. I needed to change that. In a way maybe Lolo’s death will bring us closer together.

Goodbye’s are really hard. Especially if it’s for good. My Lolo (Grandfather) Dick passed away a few hours ago due to complications arising from his diabetes. He had kidney failure already and had been undergoing dialisys the past few years.

Lolo Dick was my mom’s dad. I have found memories of him as a kid. Being the eldest grandchild, I was one of his favorites. Maybe because I was the first one and thus spent a lot of undivided time with him. My brother who’s the second grandchild came four years after me.

He lived a full life. Accomplished a lot of things. I’m sad to see him go. Especially since the last few years haven’t been that good. I am happy though that at least he’s now at peace with our Lord. His suffering is through. His pain is gone.

Lolo, I know we’ve had misunderstandings. Our relationship hasn’t been perfect. My only regret is that I didn’t get to tell you I love you while you were still conscious. I know the past years haven’t been the best. I do love you.

I hope and pray you’re happy there in heaven. I’m sure Lola (Grandmother) is there waiting for you. I’m sure you both will be happy now that you’re together. I miss lola. Give her a kiss for me.

You’re in good hands now Lolo. You’re with God. He’ll take care of you. I’ll see you again one day but hopefully not for many years. I still have a lot to do here.

Thanks for everything. Thanks for giving me my mom. She’s a good mom. I’m sure you know that. She took good care of you. If there’s one thing you did right it was that you raised a good daughter.

Goodbye Lolo. Take care and God bless.