Religion is a tricky thing. It’s probably one of the most divisive topics known to man. Wars have been fought because of religion. Contrary to what it’s supposed to be. At the core of most religions is love. Yet this is not the end result sometimes.
Let me be clear, I believe in God. I believe in Jesus Christ, his son. I believe in the Holy Spirit. I believe in Mother Mary. I think by those beliefs I fall under the Catholic religion. I was born into this religion. Raised a Catholic. My entire immediate family is Catholic.
However, lately I’ve been having problems with the Catholic Church. I don’t agree with some of their ideas.
At the core of my belief is this
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” [Matt22:37-40]
I compare everything against this two. If the church tells me one thing, before I blindly follow, I compare it to the above commandments. If it passes both then I can accept it as such. If it doesn’t then I really have to think about it more or discard it altogether.
I read the post of Cecile from her Chuvaness blog. She outlines her reasons on why she stopped going to mass/church. I respect her thoughts. I agree with some, others no but at the end of the day it’s her personal decision and her relationship with God. I will respect it.
I have to admit I haven’t been able to go to church a lot this past year. It’s not because I totally don’t want to. It’s for several reasons actually. A part of it is because I really have difficulty going out sometimes. Given also it’s a Sunday, it’s harder for me to go out, no one to drive for me. So it’s either I catch the mass that’s held nearby so I can “walk” but the problem is that it’s only one mass and it’s at 11 a.m. The thing is, because of my work, my time is reversed. I follow US time and so I’m up at night and asleep most of the daytime. But this is not the main reason and I digress.
One of the main reasons is that I simply am not connecting to the Church as much as I should. Part of it is because of differing beliefs with some matters, part of it is because I’m at a stage wherein I’m having great internal conflict.
At the surface everything is fine but I’m having a crisis of sorts within myself. It’s hard to explain here but my faith in religion is wavering. Take note, I said faith in RELGION. Not faith in God. Religion in my opinion is man made. Sure one can argue that in the case of the Catholic Church it came from God and was built from the foundation that Jesus gave St. Peter. Right now man governs it. Some will say that the leaders of the Church were anointed by God and they are a representation of him here on Earth. But right now I’m having a hard time believing it is so.
When I see how some priests are acting, it doesn’t make me believe that God sent them.
I believe that God loves all men. Religion should not discriminate against sex, race, age, disability, etc. So if you’re gay, a bastard, someone who is a single parent, etc, the church should not ban you from practicing your faith. Sure the Church has beliefs, etc but it should not discriminate. It should not judge.
Faith is very personal to me. If someone is gay, I will not judge him for that. Even if the Church says God is not for it, I will leave it to God and that person. I do not want or do I want to be judged. Live and let live, so to speak.
There’s this video going around, entitled Why I hate religion, but love Jesus. It’s been going around Facebook and Cecile also posted it in the same entry. It makes a lot of sense.
When a religion punishes someone through no fault of his own, then I find it hard to believe in that religion. An example of this would be a child going to a Catholic school and being told that his/her parents are sinners because they’re not married by the Catholic Church, then that’s just wrong. It scars the child, it’s judging other people.
My God is a loving God. I believe it to be so because he sent his only son to die for our sins. Sacrificing his son in order to save all of us. All those who believe. He didn’t say, save only those who believe but are straight or only those who believe but have no sins. God wanted to save all those who believed.
I would rather live my life based on the two most important commandments of God. Rather than go to church for an hour each week and forget the commandments once I step out. Ideally it should be both.
I want to go back to Church regularly but I need to find my faith again in it first. I need to know that when I go there I agree wholeheartedly on what it stands for.
I want to start this letter by first wishing all a belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
2011 was a roller-coaster ride of sorts. There were some bad moments but definitely a lot of good moments. In some aspects I’d even say this was the best year yet.
The highlight of 2011 was the wedding of my brother to his long-time girlfriend and now wife Imee. Their wedding was held last April. It was also my first time to be a best man.
I was really happy to see my brother finally settle down. His might only be the only wedding my immediate family sees, so I was really glad it turned out well.
One of the best things this past year, just shy of my brother getting married was that I finally got my hands on a Trilogy 100 ventilator. More than the fact that I was finally able to buy it, the journey towards getting it was much better.
Several friends all pitched in to help me get it. A couple ran marathons to help raise funds for it, several donated from their own personal pockets. All-in-all my friends raised about half the amount I needed to buy the new ventilator.
The other half was courtesy of Philips Respironics and their local dealer here. Through the help of their regional marketing manager, I was able to work at a deal with Philips to help them promote the Trilogy 100 locally in exchange for a hefty discount. That was really something else.
I’ve been enjoying the Trilogy 100. It’s allowed me more freedom to go out and live my life.
I’m grateful that this year saw a lot of blessings, in family, work and other aspects of my life.
It’s taken some adjustment to life at home. My brother has left the nest so to speak, leaving just my mom, dad and I. It’s been a little quieter at home, but life has to go on and all things must change.
Work has been ok. I’m grateful for that, although the end of the year brought a little anxiety. I’m technically moving to a new employer. It’s the same job but now I’m working for my employer directly instead of through a third-party company. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen but in the end it looks like things are working out. I’ll be starting on the first working day of 2012. Hopefully this kick-starts the New Year with a bang.This year has been blessed. I chose to focus on the blessings rather than the challenges. I’m grateful for the family, friends, colleagues, clients I’ve spent the past year with. All of which have touched and changed my life in one way or another.
For the coming year, I pray for blessings. Specifically for stability at work, better health not just for myself but also especially for my family and those who are close and dear to me.
There are all these talks that 2012 is the year that the world will end. I really don’t know. Only God knows when the world will end. Sometimes it seems that it’s coming true. A lot of disasters have come, floods, earthquakes, wars, etc. It’s quite scary. However I choose to believe in God. I choose to hope that good things have yet to come.
These disasters and unfortunate events should only remind us to do better. For things that are in our control we should strive to do the best we can and trust that everything will work out in the end. For those things that are not, we just pray and trust that God is looking out for us.
I wish you all the best. I wish you health, wealth, love, happiness and peace. I hope that the coming year blesses you as much as this year has blessed me, if not more.
In the coming year, I hope to spend more time with my family, exercise more, eat healthier. I want to be able to work smarter not just harder or longer. I want to rekindle old relationships that have been set aside due to time or other circumstances. I want to meet new people and build new relationships. I want to experience new things. Most of all I want to do things that matter, not just to myself but the community too. I want to make a bigger difference in people’s lives. Oh if possible, maybe improve my love life.
Happy New Year to all! Be safe as you celebrate the coming year.
God Bless!
It’s been 4 years since the proverbial end of the line. When I was first diagnosed, doctors told me I probably would not see my 30th birthday. I just turned 34 today. It’s been 4 years worth of extras so to speak.
My parents, brother and his wife threw me a birthday party. It was different though this year. It turned out to be a children’s party. Most of my friends now have children of their own. I could not have a party and not expect them to bring their kids. So instead of having a grown-up party we decide to just have one that the kids will enjoy too. Turns out, I enjoyed it more.
It was nice to see the kids of my friends. Some of them are my God children. In our country, it’s customary to have several God parents per child. So no, the children are not in danger of getting stuck with me if something happens to their parents.
Time has certainly flown by. Even if I don’t have a family of my own, my friends and their children have become a second family to me.
I did not receive anything grand this birthday. No outrageous present. When I was a kid that was the one thing I looked forward to, a wonderful toy from either my parents or my grand parents. Yet in all my years of celebrating birthdays, this year was a joy unlike no other.
I realized that despite my challenges, my everyday trials, the reality of being in my situation, I am quite lucky. I have a wonderful family that supports me and is always there for me. I have friends who care enough to spend their Sunday with me. I am quite blessed.
I thank God for blessing me with all that I have. I thank him for my parents, Vic and Cyn, who never gave up on me, even when people will understand if they did. I thank him for my brother and my new sister-in-law who also showed me so much love. I thank God for my friends, some of which are like brothers and sisters to me. I thank God for giving my friends children, who I know bring them joy but it also brings me great joy to see them with my friends. I thank God for all the things he has blessed me, material or otherwise. I thank God for the other people who make my life possible, my aides, helpers, drivers, etc. In 34 years God has never failed to bless my life.
Thank you for a wonderful 34 years. Thank you for all the people who have walked into my life. I am blessed because I have them in my life. My only wish is that God gives me more years to come so I can spend it with the people I love.
I remember sitting down at the dinner table talking to my parents on that faithful night. It was evening Manila time and it was just morning in New York. Our conversation was about the trip that my dad and I were supposed to take 2 days before to New York.
“I’m going to sue Northwest”. Those were the words that I still remember clearly. I was referring to the fact that Northwest Airlines refused to let me use onboard power so I can use my BiPAP machine while in flight. For an airline that said they were disabled friendly, they sure didn’t make it easy for someone like me to fly.
I had wanted to fly to New York for several months to see my then girlfriend. The romantic in me wanted to see her again to see if we could work things out. She had moved to the US a couple of years back to work there.
We broke up for awhile but I realized that I still loved her. So when the chance came up, I wanted to go and see her.
The phone rang. It was my cousin telling us to open our TV and watch CNN. By that time the first plane had hit one of the twin towers. We turned on the TV; we thought it was just a horrific accident. When the second plane hit the other building it had become apparent that it wasn’t.
As the night unfolded and as we watched on TV we witnessed one of the biggest acts of terrorism the world has seen. We knew the world would not be the same. Even though we were halfway across the world, it still sent a chill down our spines because, had we been able to take our flight two days back, we would have been in New York on September 11, 2001. Worse, my dad would have been on the twin towers. He was scheduled to meet his friend for breakfast at the “Windows of the World” restaurant.
It was then I realized, that it was God who was preventing us to fly out and not really Northwest. They were just instruments.
A month and a half after September 11 my dad and I flew to New York via San Francisco. I wasn’t going to let the biggest act of terrorism interfere with my love life.
I spent a month and a half in New York. We even made the trip down near ground zero. We saw the smoke coming out of the rubble. We even signed our names on a wall for people who wanted to leave messages for the ones that died, survivors and anyone who was affected by the tragic event. A nice priest even came up to me and gave me a cross.
10 years have gone by since that time. A lot of people have been greatly affected by the tragedy. Heroes gave up their lives so that others may live. The world was forever changed.
I write this entry as a reminder of that event. A reminder that amidst the biggest tragedies, people will emerge from it. People will pick up from the rubble and rebuild. I believe in the goodness of man. I believe that people are capable of working together to overcome adversity.
9/11 is a testament to that. While it may not have gone as good as what we’ve hoped for, 10 years after, Americans are rebuilding. They continue to be strong. The world stands by their side.
My thoughts and prayers continue to go to the families of the victims of 9/11. May you continue to keep fighting Use the memory of this tragic event as fuel to push forward and prevail. The best way to fight back against the terrorists who did this is to show them that no act of terrorism can deter people from living their lives.
May God Bless all the people affected by this tragedy. May you find peace after all these years.
Very few things make me really sad. One of those is things is the fact that my parents have to deal with certain things related to me.
Case in point. My mom and I were talking the other night. She was telling me about the mini-reunion she had with former college classmates. One topic of their conversation was their children who aren’t married yet. Of course this topic is common to all parents who have adult children who are still single.
Their conversation found its way to the moms asking each other if they could pair up their children. So my mom narrated that one by one each parent who had a child that was still single spoke up and said that she’d like to volunteer her son/daughter.
Naturally, my mom told them that she still had a son who was single. That was none other than I. My brother had recently gotten married this year. I definitely know how proud my mom is of me. If there was one person who believes in me it’s her.
I feel bad though. I guess it’s one of my biggest insecurities. I always think that no sane mom would like her daughter to marry someone like me. That’s just a fact of life that I have to deal with. But I know that not all people are like that.
I had a girlfriend before when I was in my early twenties. I remember the day I told my dad that I had a new girlfriend. He sat down with me and told me “you know that she has parents and that they most likely will object, I just want you to be prepared for that”.
True enough, at first when my girlfriend back then told her mom that she was dating me her mother objected. She told her mom that she should get to know me first, if by that time she still thinks I should be with her daughter then they could talk about it then.
In time her mom warmed up to me. To her family’s credit, they all treated me with respect and I never felt that I was not welcome in their home. They were very civil and in fact I am still good friends with her siblings. I still talk to her mom from time to time until now.
It’s not easy to have a son like me. I’m pretty sure my parents would want me to have everything that their other son has. I’m sure that they would eventually want to see me get married and be accepted into another family. I feel bad thinking I might not be able to give that to them.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t look at my situation and pity myself. In fact I use it as motivation to do better, to make something of myself so that what I lack in physical abilities I can make up for in other ways. Hopefully that will be enough to counter act my shortcomings and make other people see that I am good enough for their daughter too.
I don’t know if it will come true. I’m not sure I’ll find someone who will fight hard enough for me and make her family see me the way she does. My ex-girlfriend did that once. Too bad it didn’t work out. But I will be forever grateful to her and her family for treating me well.
For now, I just hope that what I lack in that department I make up for in other things so that I can make my parents proud. I may not be a son that they can “push” to their friends as an option for their unmarried children but hopefully I can make up for it in other ways.
There are times in life where you reflect on mortality. Be it your own or in general. The past two weeks was one of those times for me.
Such is the circle of life that birth and death is constant, we all are born, we will all die. That’s a sure thing.
In the span of two weeks, I know two people who passed away (another one I have not met personally but I know the son). I also know two friends who gave birth to two new babies.
Ella is a friend that I’ve known for years. We were not that close but her husband was one of my first friends at Singles For Christ. Ella’s sister-in-law is also one of my dearest friends.
Ella was taken too soon from this world. She battled a brain tumor for the past 10 or so years eventually losing to it a couple of weeks ago. She was a loving wife to Carlo and a doting mother to Carlitos and Vino. She was 37 years old.
Dr. Hermogenes Tantoco or “Tito Mon” as I know him died last Friday night. He had been battling lung cancer for a year or so. He had known about it for that time but never told anyone until it became severe. From the stories I’ve heard, he had wished to spare his family the grief and burden of trying to treat it. He said that he was ready to die and that he had lived a full life.
Tito Mon from what I’ve heard and how I know him was a very fine example of a husband, father and grandfather. He had a life that probably many of us would be envious to have. He was a doctor, businessman but more than that a good husband, father and grandfather. He had a sense of dignity about him that gives the impression that he was not just an important person but also a fine gentleman.
Friends and their respective families will surely miss both Ella and Tito Mon.
Life goes in circles and as two lives go back to their creator, two new lives are also born.
My very good friend Cris, gave birth to Dominque Marie or Nikki. She is the second child of Cris and her husband Rommel.
I also found out that Angela, the sister of a good friend of mine also gave birth early this morning. The tragic thing about it was that it is a bittersweet time for their family. The birth of a baby came at the time where they also lost the father of Angela’s husband.
With each new baby, the circle of life begins anew. I wish these two new babies that were born to friends of mine, a life that is lived as well as the two people I know who passed away sans the disease they suffered.
I wish them both the strength and courage Ella, possessed. She faced her condition head on and lived her life to the fullest despite the challenges. I wish them the life Tito Mon had. He had lived a life that by any measure was well lived. He was married to the love of his life for 50 something years, had great kids, great grandchildren. He left this world with a lot more than what he started with. That’s how most people should live. I’m not talking about wealth but by people we’ve touched, things we’ve done and a difference we made to people around us.
I often think about mortality. Given my condition, it’s a great possibility that I will not live as long as most people should. They said I would not live past 30 and I’m already pushing 34 this year.
I’m honestly scared about death but not because life will end but mostly because I don’t think I’ve live life to the fullest yet. I don’t think I can say I’ve done all that I can and that I’m satisfied with what I’ve done in this world.
I still have things to do, places to see, people to meet but most especially, I still need to do more good in the world before I can honestly say I can leave it with more than what I’ve started with.
I guess at the end of the day, life and death really come hand in hand. Not because it’s natural that life begins and ends but probably because we should all learn to live life to the fullest in order to make death meaningful.
